I Was Always Watching You
by Angie-chan
Summary: (One-shot) Sasuke's private thoughts about Naruto. Hints of one-sided shonen ai. Spoilers If you haven't at least read or watched up until the Wave Country story arch.


Yosh!! I've decided that I want to write a Naruto fickie!! I blame this on all of the wonderful fics I spent all of last night reading. I'm not exactly certain how much sense it's going to make though, since I'm not only making it up as I go along, but also dangerously sleep deprived. Anywho, get ready for my "wonderful" Fan fiction!! *Gets ready*  
  
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I guess you could say I've always been a bit... infatuated with him. I'm not sure why, but I've always found him so interesting. Anyone who isn't a complete idiot can see the way that everyone avoids him and ignores him. I've even seen countless people stare at him in disgust. But he's always grinning like an idiot, and yelling something stupid. All you ever hear out of him is "I'm going to be Hokage!!" or "Just you wait. When I'm Hokage, you'll have to acknowledge me!" or something along those lines.  
  
On top of that, he just refuses to leave me alone. I'm pretty sure he hates me. By 'pretty sure' I mean I know he hates me. I think it started one day when he was trying to talk to that annoying Sakura, and she completely ignored him and started throwing herself at me. Ever since then, he just sort of decided I was his "rival" or something. I don't know. It's pretty irritating.  
  
Anyway, back on the subject of my little fascination with him. The first time I noticed him was... well, the first day I transferred into his class. I mean, how do you not notice that boy? I remember he was running around like an idiot, and he smacked right into me, and fell on the ground. I just glared down at him. "Watch where you're going, moron." Yes, that was the very first thing I ever said to him. Fond memories should be kept close to one's heart, no? He swore at me like it was my fault, then got up and went off to annoy someone else. I guess you couldn't say he has the longest attention-span.  
  
No one else ever noticed the way I would watch him. It's not as if I just openly stared at him, or anything. (I graduated top in my class for a reason.) After time, without even realizing it, I had become familiar with all his little mannerisms. I scared myself one day, when I noted that he was hungry after seeing him lick his lips a certain way. Needless to say, I went out of my way to stop watching him for a while after that. There was also the day when I really began to see that Naruto wasn't as stupid as he always acted. That he wasn't always a happy-go-lucky stereotypical blonde. It was odd. In the beginning I had thought he was just too idiotic to notice that everyone hated him. I didn't even notice at first. I figured it was just my imagination. Why would a bunch of adults that he probably never even spoke a word to hate him? There were times when I could see the way it affected him. There were also times when I'd feel the sudden urge to talk to him, or comfort him; but instead, I'd just ignore him. The only time I'd ever say anything to him, it was always an insult. Why didn't I just say something nice to him? It wouldn't have been that big of a deal to at least be civil to him, right? I really couldn't say. Maybe, I was afraid we might become friends. After all, an avenger doesn't have friends.  
  
It's funny. As time went by, and I slowly got to know him... like him better, he slowly hated me more any more. I'd always catch him glaring at me. This, of course, made it more difficult for me to watch him, but I managed. Towards the end of our school years, he even started challenging me. I usually just ignored him. When I would fight him, I'd embarrass him. I really am an idiot, you know that? Not only did I never say the nice, civil things I always thought about telling him, but I ridiculed him and embarrassed him... and in front of an audience, to boot!  
  
You would think that at some point, I'd get my act together and say what I wanted to say, or do what I wanted to do, but no. You may not have noticed, but I'm not exactly good with that whole 'nice guy' thing. In fact, I'm not even good with that 'not-being-a-complete-ass-hole' thing. Well, we've all got our strengths and weaknesses, I suppose. My strength just happens to be being an icy bastard. Anyway, that's enough of that. Let's get back to Naruto. Heh, don't expect me to ever say that out loud.  
  
Well, since I've been avoiding it so far, let's get to the topic you knew I'd talk about eventually: 'The kiss.' (Gawd, I feel like a host on some talk show host, saying it like that...). That was certainly a surprise. It was that idiot's fault. What was he doing sitting on the desk, anyway? I think that was probably the most shocked I've ever been in my life. Well, next to the whole Itachi (That filthy, excuse for a bastard) thing. I had stopped breathing. Though I know it was only a matter of seconds, it seemed like we sat frozen in that position for an hour. I can't say I liked or disliked it. It may have been my first kiss, but it was hardly magical. It was really too bad I was too shocked to laugh, because I'm sure Naruto had a comical expression on his face. Instead I just wiped at my lips and faked repulsion. I couldn't very well have people thinking I liked it. (Though, now that I think of it, if I made my little 'fan club' think I was gay, a few of them might give up on me. That's definitely something for me to think about in the future.) Afterwards, I couldn't help but entertain the idea that he had done it on purpose. The idea was very unlikely, though. If anything, he hated me even more after that.  
  
I wonder if he cursed his luck a thousand times when we were put on the same team after graduating. I was surprised, to say the least. To think, the boy I've always watched ended up on the same team as me. I think Iruka- sensei did it on purpose. I'd occasionally have the suspicion that he knew I was watching Naruto, but never said anything. In that case, I'd say he's crazy. Who in their right mind would team their precious student up with a potential stalker? Not to say I stalk Naruto, or anything. I just assume it might seem that way from someone else's point of view. Speaking of which, why the hell did he team me up with Sakura? She really is a stalker!  
  
After we got teamed up, I wasn't quite sure about my feelings. I was happy and pissed off at the same time. It was true that I'd be spending more time with Naruto, but it also meant I'd be spending more time with Naruto. Just imagine. Think really hard about this one. How much time do you think you could spend with that boy? Even when he's on his absolute best behavior? Yeah, not too long, right? Plus, he was always going on with his "I-hate-you-you're-my-rival" thing. That about doubles the amount of annoying. Then, there are his pathetic attempts at winning Sakura, which would obviously be about as successful as her attempts at winning me.  
  
I tried really hard (In my own, unique way) to be optimistic about the situation, but I just couldn't be happy about it. You see, optimism is another one of my weaknesses. When we met Kakashi-sensei, I really considered just ending it all. Not only did I have a complete idiot, and a crazy stalker in my team, but we were going to be put under the care of some pot-head? (Come on, don't act surprised. All the signs are obvious.) The man can't even show up on time, and he's trusted with overseeing a team of Gennins? I will admit that he is talented. He's also the only other person I know of who's noticed the way I observe Naruto. He never comes out and says he knows, but he hints at it. Luckily, Naruto is too dense to know what he's talking about, and Sakura's either dumber than we all thought, or just in denial.  
  
Well, I definitely spent a lot of time with Naruto after that. At first, he was always getting angry and wanting to fight with me, (Not that it helped when I called him names, or purposely ignored him.) but after about a month, he finally started to cool down. I even started to enjoy his company, as loud and obnoxious as he was, though I wouldn't dare admit it. At least the missions weren't quite so boring with him always causing some sort of entertaining problem. I never laughed, of course. I would just scowl and tell him he was an idiot. Even though it was a lot of trouble having him on my team, I guess I could say it was worth it. Or, that's what I would think before I quickly corrected myself. I can't afford to clean after his messes, not if I want to move forward. Every step forward brings me closer to killing that bastard, Itachi. That was what kept me from offering a helping hand when Naruto was struggling with the dog he was walking, and what kept me from telling him it was no big deal when he screwed up. He would have to learn to carry his own weight. I couldn't help him. I already had enough to deal with! I constantly told myself that he was just another set back. That I should stop focusing on him, and train harder. I wasn't going to magically become strong enough to kill Itachi. Naruto was only another distraction.  
  
We went on for a while doing low-rank missions, and then we were given the mission to escort Tazuna to the wave country. Right in the beginning, we encountered to enemies. I was surprised at the way Naruto froze. Again, I had a perfect opportunity to show him that I cared even a little, but like always, I screwed it up. I blame Kakashi and Sakura for being there.  
  
We had another battle, shortly after that, with Zabuza. Naruto surprised me again, but this time by how much trust he placed in me. Of course, I knew exactly what he planned to do with the shuriken, when he threw it to me. I had after all studied him for years. It would have been a disgrace to my own observation skills if I hadn't figured out what he had planned. I just couldn't believe he knew I would know. For a moment I wondered if I was never as careful as I thought I had been, or maybe he just trusted me to just figure it out. But... why? We never really discussed it afterwards. I still want to ask him about that. If it hadn't been for his plan, who knows what could have happened. (Another thing I never told him.)  
  
It's really just disgusting, how many opportunities I've had to tell him these things. Another perfect time was when we alone doing the tree climbing training. I could have at least given him some tips when he was having trouble in the beginning. Before I knew it, I was competing against him. I suppose you could say he was rubbing off on me. Plus, I couldn't have him surpass me for many reasons. It showed that I'd been too distracted lately, and hadn't been training as much as I should have. I can at least say that the competition made us both work harder. Every evening we'd end up walking back, barely supporting each other. I don't know why, but it sparked strange feelings in me, being that close to him. I think I can honestly say we got at least a little closer during that time.  
  
And then there was the battle with Haku. I had known deep down how important Naruto had become to me, but I never fully acknowledged it until that day. It was really true that I just sort of moved on my own, but what I never told Naruto was why. I could have died. My mission in life would be left uncompleted, all because of this boy, and yet I couldn't bring myself to tell him how I felt. Am I really that much of a coward? I couldn't even say something as simple as "You're a precious person to me." Hell, not even 'a' precious person, more like 'the'. There's no one else that I care about enough that I'd call them that. But instead, all I could do is tell him not to die. Yeah, that's the best I could say. The one thing I vividly remember was the look on Naruto's face. It was a look of true concern. I even remember feeling his tears hit my cheek. My last thought was that he actually cared. Even if it was only a little bit, he cared about me. I'm not one to get all mushy, but knowing that made me feel a little better about all the things I never did and never said. The last thing I remember is the overwhelming relief that he didn't completely hate me.  
  
As I'm sure you've already guessed I was pretty surprised when I woke up. The battle was over and I remember Sakura calling to Naruto to tell him I was alive. It was hard to make out his expression, since he was so far away, but I could see that he was relieved. I think he was even crying. I guess every day holds a surprise. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that I didn't confess everything to him. I've got plenty of time. Who knows? Maybe once I take care of what I need to do, I'll tell him. Or... maybe I'll tell him sooner.  
  
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So, what did you think? It feels a little long to me. I tried my best not to make it too short, but it was hard for me to make this type of story stretch. I wanted to go further with it, maybe into the Chunnin exams, but I thought it was good ending it here. I've actually been thinking of this type of story ever since the Chunnin exams when Sasuke beats up that guy trying to disguise himself as Naruto. It made it seem like he really paid a lot of attention to Naruto, and my sister and I were convinced after that that Sasuke has a thing for Naruto. Actually, it's funny that my first Naruto fic ever would be in Sasuke's point of view, since I usually sort of resent him and make fun of him. I like him; I just get mad that he steals the spotlight from poor Naruto all the time. Anyway, please review. Even comments saying I suck are better than no comments at all. Oh, and I was also wondering if I should leave this as a one-shot, or maybe continue it? Or maybe even do Naruto's point of view? I dunno, please review! 


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